I love anime. It’s kind of a problem. Every night before it’s time to pass out, which is 10pm because I’m an old person, I hunker down with my partner and watch some anime. Anime is my comfort food, anime is love, and anime is life.
But not all anime are created equal, and often times I find myself dipping out within the first 3 episodes.
Like with any TV show, or any video game or movie. Sometimes stuff just doesn’t grab you.
And sometimes you think something is going to be awesomesauce, but you’re super disappointed, and end up feeling like you wasted your precious, finite time.
I’m going to make this as brief as possible and write my drive-by hot take on 5 titles I gave up on, and my reasoning.
This can either be used as a primer of things to avoid, or you can yell at me in the comments about why I ‘Just Need To Give Your Trashbaby A Chance’.
Spoiler Alert: I won’t.
1.) Occultic; Nine: I wanted it to be good, but really, it was just confusing.
Also I kept getting distracted by Ryoka Narusawa’s impossible boobs.
I love occult, horror, and ghost anime. I have a current crippling dilemma in my life that exists because the void of Ghost Stories, Ghost Hunt, and Silent Hill will never be filled. Because of this, I’ve been dabbling in questionable anime.
I wanted to like Occultic; Nine because it’s in the same [kind of?] universe of Steins; Gate, and it’s about the occult, but it was just really confusing.
Not to mention the absolutely random fanservice, which seems to break the overall tense mood, at every available opportunity.
Considering one of my fave animu is boobcentral (Shimoneta), it’s an epic achievement to get me to put down an anime because of fanservice. But I did.
Basically the story is about a bunch of people’s interwoven lives, the psychic and ghostly phenomena that exist around them, and some kind of murder mystery.
I skipped out on episode 4 because I just could not get invested in any of the characters. The art was beautiful, but it just wasn’t enough to get me to care.
The pacing was frenetic but it still didn’t feel like very much was happening.
I may pick this back up again, but as far as I’m concerned, it really isn’t offering anything that I haven’t already seen.
2.) My Hero Academia: Shounen’s golden child refuses to grow up.
There’s just too much battle royale bullshit, and the most interesting side characters need more screen time.
I’m obnoxiously picky about shounen anime. So much so that I actively avoid the genre, especially the popular titles. But once I get invested in a shounen anime, I tend to stay for the long haul.
Or at least until I get so irritated I throw on Escaflowne just to make the pain stop.
My Hero Academia has everything going for it, and yet I can’t help but lowkey dislike it.
It has a cast of incredibly lovable, interesting characters, but that all gets shit on because Deku (the main character) just cannot help but smash through his Hero Journey like the most cliche motherfucker I’ve ever seen.
It has a super-hero premise, and I’m all about superheroes, so you’d think I’d be all about it. But I’m not.
It has some interesting plot lines, mainly consisting of Shoto Todoroki being attractive and Doing A Thing, Tomura Shigaraki actually being an interesting villain, and Dabi also being attractive.
I will not pretend I don’t crush on 2D characters. That’s denying my true weeb trash status, and I’m old enough to come to terms with how garbage I am.
Despite what BNHA has going for it, and despite watching every episode that’s been released so far, I can’t help but feel it suffers from Naruto Syndrome.
Filler episodes that don’t add anything to the plot, focusing on the least interesting characters, a grating protagonist, taking 15 episodes to wrap up 1 arch of fighting for no reason…this makes BNHA lackluster.
Yu Yu Hakusho did this in the 90s. Thunderdome crap is no longer impressive.
You may be wondering why I stayed along for the ride, if I complain about BNHA this much. It also might be enlightening to know I tried making a BNHA forum RP game, which promptly died.
If I’m invested, why do I act like I dropped it? Why even bother trying to roleplay in the world of BNHA? Is Kira A Liar?!?!
Because the world, and some of the characters, are still worth it to me. As far as RPing as superheroes goes, I really like the premise, so efforts were made to make something more to my liking.
I really, really, really want to like My Hero Academia.
I really want to see more of Tsuyu Asui (best girl of show), Dabi, Todoroki, Shigaraki, etc.
But I can’t say, in good faith, that BNHA doesn’t suffer from Naruto Syndrome. I can’t pretend that it’s doing anything novel and unique.
I can’t pretend Deku isn’t the most annoying character ever, sans Shinji Ikari.
I just cannot, so I don’t think I’ll pick it back up until Dabi is confirmed to exist on the screen for more than 20 minutes of next season.
If that comes to be, I’ll play Pokemon while I wait for him to grace the screen with his bitchin’ blue flames.
3.) Attack on Titan: Shounen’s other golden child, bores me.
I am literally that girl who hates everything popular.
I really don’t have much to say about Attack on Titan, except that it’s boring. I know this is a stupidly unpopular opinion, but I stayed for 3 episodes, then bounced. Why? Because none of the characters seemed very interesting at all.
The premise of the world is pretty cool. Giant Titans show up to fuck everything up, and a bunch of people get trained to defeat them, blah blah blah.
You can tell how enthusiastic I am about this because it’s even hard for me to put this all into words. All I’m getting is: meh.
Levi Ackerman is probably the only reason I’d pick this show up again, and it’s because, you guessed it, he’s attractive. Yup, I’m shallow, trash, and a nerd, okay. Livin’ my best life, fam.
The Titans are ugly. Not in an ugly-holy-shit-scary-wtf-Akira way, in a way that looks goofy. See below meme video, which is more interesting than the show is:
The pacing is slow, until there are battle scenes, but let’s be real here: we’ve seen much more impressive battle animation in One Punch Man, so I don’t see the appeal.
I was not, at all, pulled into the plight of our main characters. I did not give an iota of a shit about this show, and despite what the internet says, I do not think this makes me defective.
I think this just means I do not believe the hype, and my ADHD probably prevents me from venturing past the initial ‘wtf is this’ stage most anime have before they hit their stride.
4.) The Naruto anime is an absolute disgrace.
I read the manga, and I just cannot even with the anime.
Naruto, ah, what the fuck. One of the initial “Big Three” of supposedly top-tier shounen back in the day (One Piece [overrated], Bleach [actually good]), it’s grating at best, and insulting at worst. I actually love the manga, so watching this felt like someone had shit in my coffee.
What is honestly more insulting than sitting through a 20-ish minute episode, only to find the first 7 minutes is all recaps, and the last 5 minutes consists of fillers? Basically nothing.
There’s no feeling quite like it, but the closest comparison I can make is getting a coffee at Starbucks and realizing 89% of it is just fucking ice.
It’s super annoying, is what I’m saying.
Naruto holds this special place in my heart, mainly because Kakashi Hatake is best bae, but also because the manga was enjoyable.
I rarely, if ever, read manga. The only titles I can say I really paid attention to are as follows:
Paradise Kiss, Angel Sanctuary, Nana, Gangsta, Princess Jellyfish, nARuTo, Bleach, Death Note, Sailor Moon, and Ghost in the Shell.
But I read all the way up until the time skip. I read it, I did.
I was down like a clown for Naruto, and then I decided that I’d try to circle back to the anime because I was too lazy to read.
This was a huge mistake.
I ended up fast-forwarding most of the episodes, and it got to the point where Naruto’s “Believe It!” made me want to puncture my own eardrums so I didn’t have to hear it anymore.
Again, I am a simple man (?). If there’s a pretty character, I will stay and suffer. But in this case, the enigmatic Kakashi was just not enough to keep me watching the whole of Naruto.
The fillers. Naruto himself. Sakura being mostly useless. Sasuke being emo and annoying. What can I say about this dumpster fire that hasn’t already been said?
The manga, for me, was a guilty pleasure. The anime? I will take a rain-check on it every single time.
It doesn’t matter that my favorite character gets more development later on, I just cannot subject myself to filler so thick it’s bound to give me high cholesterol.
5.) Dramatical Murder Was Supposed To Be Hot.
Instead, it was hot garbage.
If there’s any anime I want to tell you to expressly avoid, it’s Dramatical Murder. Not only because it’s an inane piece of senseless bullshit without a coherent plot, but because it’s also a ridiculously paltry adaptation of an incredibly inappropriate BL game, lacking any single whiff of BL except for one awkward kiss.
I guess this is the article where I come out as a ghost, tell everyone I think some anime characters are hot, and am two steps away from being a fujoshi but also am too lazy to chase the yaoi bus.
I am literally too lazy to join the cult of BL. I just am.
I do not spend money on many anime products. I don’t sit here consuming manga like it’s water. I stopped going to Anime Conventions when I was 15. I have no anime posters.
But I’m still an otaku at heart.
When you truly accept who you are, you are free.
Being an old betch, I no longer care about how my hobbies and interests are perceived by others. I’m okay with my status as a hopeless nerd.
What I’m not okay with is peoples’ introduction to DMMD (as the fans abbreviate it) being some god-awful clusterfuck of stupid, when the actual IP it’s based upon is booty, booty, booty.
I picked this anime up because Aoba Seragaki’s hair is hairspiration. That was my motivation, I’m not even kidding.
I have not played DMMD because I refuse to put in the effort to install a Japanese Language Pack on my computer, or get an english patch.
Yes, even borderline-fujoshi can be lazy enough to neglect their UwU interests. This is who you are dealing with, and you are reading this, so you are complicit in my degenerate oafishness.
The plot makes absolutely no sense. There’s something about going into video games, Aoba switching personalities, if Aoba’s hair gets hurt he somehow also feels pain (dumb), Noiz doesn’t feel pain, a shitty cop, whatever.
The art is absolute trash, and the animators had to be drunk honestly:
The music is lame, tasteless and cringy:
The OP deletes a few of my braincells every time I hear it.