My partner and I attempted to watch it at least 6 total times, with Hulu shitting out like a wet fart upon every attempt.
Finally willing to lick the “lead-paint chip disaster” that is the Funimation App on the PS4, we started watching this clusterfuck.
And boy, was it ever a clusterfuck.
But a clusterfuck that fucked the dick of my heart.
Yes, I just wrote that entirely new sentence. No, I’m not sorry.
Shimoneta is an absolutely hilarious masterpiece, and to say otherwise is to admit your plebeian taste and lack of a sense of humor.
According to dickipedia, Shimoneta: A Boring World Where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn’t Exist is a Japanese light novel series written by Hirotaka Akagi and illustrated by Eito Shimotsuki.
The plot is pretty simple: In a dystopian future, the Japanese government is cracking down on any perceived immoral / lewd / risque behavior, to the point of forcing citizens to be monitored for sexual actions.
During this time, a rando high schooler named Tanukichi Okuma enters the country’s leading elite “public morals school” to reunite with his crush, Anna Nishikinomiya (who is crazy and rapey).
However, Tanukichi starts knocking boots with the pro-sex-ed “terrorist” group SOX, and ends up trying to save Japan from puritanical crapness.
Oh, and Ayame Kajou (who is best girl) runs SOX, often donning underwear on her face, and running around half-naked, while she distributes pornography to help free the masses.
In a nutshell: Shimoneta is a warning to people repressing their sexual desires. It always gets out of hand, in the end.
At some point, someone had the bright idea to adapt this into an anime (bless you).
As I am lazy, I don’t tend to read subtitles, so I went with the dub here.
Obviously because of this, I fell in love with it.
But I didn’t stay in love with Shimoneta because of the obnoxious dialog, I stayed in love with it because of how self aware it is.
Yes, Shimoneta is deeper than you realize.
No, I’m not joking.
Where anime is concerned, many couples fall into the following categories:
Why Does That 700 Year Old Dragon Look Like An 11 Year Old? Also, Can I Date It?
The amazing thing about Shimoneta is that, despite how absolutely raunchy it is, it’s wholesome as heck where the main couple is concerned.
The relationship between Tanukichi and Ayame blossoms naturally, and at the very end of the show, they announce their love for each other.
I was absolutely a fan of their dynamic. Maybe it’s because I’ve really never seen this dynamic on screen before.
Maybe it’s because they actually drew Tanukichi’s nipples, and anime seems afraid of nipples for some reason.
Maybe it’s because Ayame feels more comfortable half-naked and in a weird cape, than in a bikini. If she’s objectifying herself, it’s okay. Others? No, no.
Maybe it’s because they both owned their sexual identities and wanted to educate an ignorant people on how to be healthy, sexual humans, and that hits home way too hard for me as an American distraught at abstinence-only sex education.
Whatever the reasoning behind my thoughts: these thots are golden.
But that’s not the only reason I fell in love with Shimoneta.
Shimoneta also deals with a heavy subject in a very transparent way: male sexual assault.
Anna is an absolute nutcase with less than pure intentions for the protagonist Tanukichi. Her molestation of the poor man doesn’t come off as merely comical, which you’d think the show would bank on.
Instead, it comes off as horrifying. She’s incredibly strong, incredibly tenacious, and can’t let the object of her desire live his best life.
The entire time as I watched Anna try to grind herself into whatever body part he had available at any given moment, I was struck with how horrified he was.
Tanukichi was not having it.
Even when the SOX team convinced him to bang Anna so they could pull off some kind of sting, how horrified he was about the whole situation really hit home that we just don’t talk about the struggles of sexually assaulted men enough.
Tanukichi’s suffering was very real. And as far as anime—and real life—is concerned, dudes really never get this narrative shown front and center.
I was incredibly happy that Shimoneta, although playing up Anna’s antics for laughs at certain points, made it painfully clear that she was a threat.
If it hadn’t, I wouldn’t be as into this show as I am.
But Shimoneta doesn’t just offer empathy on the front of male sexual assault victims, it also offers empathy towards the scientifically-minded.
Enter Hyouka Fuwa, resident science-nerd and unwitting maker of vibrators. In Shimoneta, she has a penchant for BL / Yaoi manga, but mostly just wants to study sexuality.
As she’s a scientist, she’s pretty dry about sexuality. She studies animals mating because she wants to understand what society has banned her from understanding.
I was positively struck by her plight. I know I’m coming off as dramatic, but hear me out:
At some point during the show, Fuwa is hoarding that them there gay pron. She’s obviously titillated on some level, but there’s a deeper layer.
As it’s about to be confiscated from her, she lets out a small outcry:
Please don’t take it away from me.
Her voice was small, and she looked like her puppy had been kidnapped from her arms right then and there.
(My reaction, obviously was to say: Oh no that’s so sad….)
To Fuwa, this was her holy grail.
It was her way to understand what society had deemed improper for her to understand.
Because she ‘felt a way’ about it, and was sympathetic to the natural sexual urges of people, having her comics taken from her was a stab in the gut.
She inevitably helps the SOX team hide away a bunch of porn, and tries to dismantle the bullshit puritanical ways of their society.
Way to go, Fuwa!
Shimoneta’s Fuwa is a reminder. She’s a reminder that when you lop off one of the dicks of science, you end up lopping off the rest as well.
In an anime meant to be a debaucherous sex comedy, Fuwa’s sincerity struck me.
Shimoneta’s surface veneer might look like fanservice garbage, but it’s so much more than that.
Another character we can’t overlook is Kosuri Onigashira, but not for any positive reasons…because she’s a trash person.
She’s the daughter of some big-shot, and a major antagonistic force in the show that doesn’t really redeem herself (in my eyes).
As per her hairstyle, which is definitely phallic, she inserts her own dick anywhere she can.
She wants to stand on her own two feet, but ends up betraying SOX for this absolute waste of oxygen:
Takuma Ichinose is his name, and stealing panties and terrifying the public by hijacking buses and being a nutso, plus throwing SOX under the bus, is his game.
There’s nothing good about someone forcing their weird fetishes on other people. SOX doesn’t stand for that, so obviously they have to have an anime show-down.
SOX, as an entity, made every attempt to provide whatever material, tools, and educational systems available to help the population get over its dystopian celibacy.
Takuma just wants panties. And he’s willing to shoot people to get them.
This is another warning that Shimoneta provides: it’s never right to force yourself or your desires onto other people. I think that’s pretty powerful.
We also can’t forget to mention my favorite perverted artist, Otome Saotome, who has to physically teach herself to draw with her mouth so she can make lewd comics.
I wish I had the skill to make lewd comics. No, I’m not even kidding.
The reason for this is because even drawing something profane, or what could be considered profane, isn’t allowed.
Like Tumblr’s ridiculous NSFW-thwarting algorithm lumped pictures of elbows in with sexy-timez imagery, I can imagine that’s what this monitoring thing does.
Sounds dumb, fake, and rude. Like Tumblr’s stupid crotch-shot at their most popular, largest userbase.
When she joins SOX, she becomes truly free. Free to express herself, and free to make sexy art.
For Otome, naked bodies and sexual acts are a new challenge she just can’t get enough of.
And I don’t blame her for tweaking out about it, either.
Throughout history, people have painted naked people. They’ve painted naked people doing the sex. They’ve painted their fantasies.
Banning depictions of nudity would mean destroying hundreds of years of art history—the Renaissance included (bye bye, Botticelli).
Which is horrifying.
Shimoneta’s Otome is a reminder that art history, without sexuality or nudity, would be a colder, sadder, smaller, more desolate space.
You might find my analysis incredibly dramatic, but I stand by Shimoneta like a sister-in-arms. A hilarious sister-in-arms that features panty-masks and erotic terrorism, but a sister none-the-less. My reasoning is simple:
Imagine living in a world where dirty jokes are banned. Porn is banned. Seeing a boob is banned. Kissing your crush is banned. Having a boner, ever, is banned.
Sex education is not real in this world. Nobody knows what to do with their junk, and sexual urges are seen as a threat to society.
Imagine how detrimental this would be to civilization if sexual activities, and the natural relationships between two consenting adults, were vilified.
Imagine having to more or less wear a chastity diaper, and having your hand movements tracked so you don’t write any ‘bad words’ or draw any ‘bad pictures’.
As hilarious as Shimoneta is, it’s also conceptually terrifying.
And when you juxtapose Orwellian topics with raunchy sexual comedy, it doesn’t make it any less scary. It just makes it easier to deal with.
Shimoneta is so much more than just sexual humor and dick-shaped hairstyles.
It’s a smart show with heart, and you’d do yourself a disservice to ignore its charms.
If you feel moved by my anime review, please just go watch the show.
Keep in mind that not all media needs to be safe. Not all stories should be something you watch with the family. Not all vehicles of social commentary are going to be PC.
If you’re up for some freaky, wholesome, important, hilarious shit, watch Shimoneta: A Boring World Where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn’t Exist.
I promise that if you go in with an open mind, and can handle NSFW humor, you’ll love it.